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Tag: emotional bank account

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Interview Nerves: The Psychology behind it and how best to harness it.

Although not always a comfortable experience, being nervous can be a good thing and if used correctly – even productive. Nervousness, unlike anxiety (which is something very different), is a common emotion that occurs very naturally in the body when your normal state or system is ‘threatened’. This can occur in situations that challenge your comfort zones such as a job interview or giving a speech. The fear that accompanies these situations is biologically designed to actually assist you more than it is to hinder you and links back to your fight or flight response. When you feel nervous your brain does an incredible thing of preparing your body for a response to the adverse stimulus by triggering a sequence of events that ultimately leads to the production of adrenaline. So how exactly would you utilise this response so that it works to your advantage?

 

  1. Think of yourself as excited, rather than nervous.

So often we think the best way to handle being nervous is to try and calm ourselves down but studies show that this isn’t actually the most effective way of handling those situations. Instead, get yourself excited! If you think about it, it makes sense: the emotional charge being used for nervousness is the same that is being used for excitement. In these moments you already have your endorphins going and heart racing, so it’s harder to get yourself to calm down than it is to turn those nerves into excitement by channelling it in a different way. By seeing the task as an opportunity rather than a threat you trick your brain into responding in a more productive manner.

 

  1. Develop a ritual

Think about a professional golf player – do you notice the small rituals they are performing before they hit the ball? These small acts form a part of a valuable function of neutralizing nervousness. Before an interview, a ritual for you might be to straighten your jacket or put your hands on your lap and straighten your posture. See these as acts that focus your concentration on the task at hand and counter your mind that is racing and overthinking.

 

  1. “Fake it till you make it.”

You might have heard this one already, but there is actually a lot to be said for tricking your brain into thinking positively and expecting the best outcome. Even the smallest cues you give yourself, such as smiling, and nodding can have a massive effect. By creating an affirmation and telling yourself “you’ve got this” your physiology will follow suit.

 

When you think about all the good things that have occurred in your life you will notice that nerves have been present for them. Starting a new job, your wedding day, meeting a new person, becoming a parent, your graduation- the list goes on. Nerves will always form a part of your life, but it doesn’t always need to be in a negative way. If you learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable nerves can be your biggest tool in pushing your boundaries and reaching your goals. 

 

Article by Chrissi Preuss, Psychology (Hons.) – November 2019

 

Durban Jobs e-recruitment effective interviews emotional bank account employment employment negotiations graduate employment habit five interview nerves interview skills job seeking Jobs in Durban KZN jobs management motivation for looking for a job performance psychology positive self talk psychology

START TODAY

Looking for a job can be overwhelming, especially when you have been forced into the job market.  There are so many things that you can do, yet it seems impossible to get started.

 

When you are trying to accomplish any goal, it is important that you have a map.  You need to know where you are, where you are going, and what “landmarks” you need to pass to get there. 

If you don’t know where you are, how can you start?

If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you have arrived?

And, breaking the job seeking- journey into smaller goals, or “landmarks” makes the whole journey a lot less overwhelming.

 

Start with where you are at?

The first thing that you need to do, is to draw up a CV.  You need to make a list of all the things that have gotten you to this point.  I will address this in more detail in the next newsletter, because the topic is big enough for its own newsletter, but start by downloading the free template off our website, or using one of the templates in either www.canva.com or MS Office.  Don’t think about it, or you will get overwhelmed!  Just download the template and start data capturing.  You will find it is a lot easier than you thought.  Put as much detail as possible and make it as detailed as possible.  You can edit it later, but for now, just let your mind run wild!  We have a saying in recruitment- if its not on your CV, you never did it!  (Read the next newsletter on how to prepare a CV, and edit the information before sending off this version). 

 

Where are you going?

Job seekers are under the impression that they need to have it all figured out.  They need to know the title and the job description of the job they are wanting…. And no one ever does… so they suddenly get stuck.  Let go of the unrealistic notion that you will know what you dream job is called, or even what it is.  I have been in recruitment for 20 years, and every day I get a new job across my desk that I did not know existed.  The marketplace is changing faster now than it ever has, and looking for a specific job or job title, is limiting.

That said, you still need to know where you are going.  You need to know who you are and want you are good at.  Ask yourself the following questions:-

  1. What duties did I love about my last job? Or, if someone phoned your previous boss or work colleagues, what would they say your greatest strengths were? (These will be your strengths and what you want more of in your next job).
  2. What duties did I hate about my last job? Or, if you could have given one part of your last job to someone else to do, what would it have been?  (These will be your weaknesses, and things you want to avoid.)
  3. Which company that you have worked for was your favourite, and why? (This is the type of company you want to work for.)
  4. Which was the best and worst manager that you have worked for? (This is the kind of management style you enjoy).

When you combine all the skills and experience that you brain stormed and put on your CV, and add it to the answers of these questions, you have your destination. 

Easy.

You don’t need to know the title, but you do need to know what it looks like.  You need to be able to do to an interview, and say, “I am open to all possible positions that match my skills and experience, but I have found that I have always been really good at ….., and don’t really enjoy…..  Put me in a company where I have a mentor/ can work independently, and I will excel.” 

 

The Landmarks

These are the next things that you need to do:-

  1. Draw up a comprehensive CV (NOT two pages), and possibly more than one version of it depending on the job you are applying for. (see CV Newsletter)
  2. Set the privacy settings on your social media accounts, especially Facebook, and update your LinkedIn profile. (This is important- future employers WILL cyber-stalk you!)
  3. Upload your CV onto as many job portals as possible. The more people who have your CV, the quicker you will find a job. Job portals are the fastest way to get your CV out there.  The main job portals in KZN are pnet.co.za; www.careers24.co.za; www.careerjunction.co.za www.executiveplacements.co.za; www.jobmail.co.za Complete these application forms in full and in detail!  (See the newsletter on online portals to find out why).
  4. Brainstorm a list of companies that may benefit from your skills, visit their websites and send them your CV. A lot of companies also have a “careers” section on their website, where they advertise positions.
  5. Use social media. Whether you like social media or not, this takes discipline.  Set yourself a goal to spend a set amount of time specifically looking for a job- not getting sucked into all the other stuff happening out there!  Facebook has fantastic groups dedicated to job seeking that you can join; and employment agencies have pages where they advertise jobs.  On Instagram you can follow hashtags, companies and recruitment agencies.  On LinkedIn you can network and you will be surprised that people will start connecting with you as soon as you get active.  If you are confident enough, you can even “advertise” that you are looking for a job on these platforms.  There are also a number of Whatsapp Groups that broadcast job vacancies (you can join RESOURCE recruitments group by messaging your name to 063 716 7062), and websites like Gumtree that have pages of vacancies. 
  6. Activity breeds activity. Few people find a job the day they put their CV online, or even in the first few weeks.  This is a process, which is why you need to start TODAY.  You will have plenty of opportunity to go back and edit and add to your CV, update your profiles on your portals, and each interview you attend you will learn more about the kind of job you are looking for.  But start TODAY.  And then once you are out there, set yourself weekly goals of how much time you will spend online and updating your CV, how many CV’s you will send out and how many phone calls you will make.  Do it yourself- don’t let family members do it do it for you.
  7. Get out there. The final step in looking for a job, is to know when you have done enough for the day.  You need to actively look for a job each day or week; you need to check your emails daily and jump at the opportunity for an interview.  But, you also need to have a balanced life and not get overwhelmed by the job seeking process.  Volunteer for an organization.  Work for free for a friend’s company to gain a different type of experience.  Take on temp assignments.  Join social groups like Park Run, running, yoga and gym clubs; church courses and groups; community projects or anything else that gets you interacting with different people and keeps your mind positive.  Surround yourself with people that build you up.  I can pretty much guarantee that binge watching TV series will not get you a job, make you happy, or be something you can talk about at the next interview you attend. 
  8. Stay positive. The last one is the most important one, and one that takes daily work.  Stay positive.  People like happy people, and people employ people they like.  Often anxiety and stress is disguised as procrastination.  The only way to beat anxiety and stress, and keep moving forward, is to keep positive.  And the best way that I personally know of to stay positive, is to write down five things a day that you are grateful for; get out and physically active (when last did you walk around the block?); and surround yourself with positive people- physically and on social media. 

 

Don’t worry about tackling everything at one time, or getting it right the first time.  Don’t worry about knowing all the answers or what you want to be.  Don’t worry about how long it will take to find a job, or what will happen if you don’t.  All these things are in the future, and you have no control over it.  It’s a complete waste of your time and energy and leads to anxiety and depression.  You do have control over today, so start today!  Draw up that CV.  Put your CV online.  Set yourself job seeking goals (write them down and keep a track of them).  Get out there and start networking and speaking with real people.  Stay positive. 

 

Durban Jobs e-recruitment effective interviews emotional bank account employment employment negotiations graduate employment habit five interview skills job seeking Jobs in Durban KZN jobs management motivation for looking for a job motivational books positive self talk

LISTEN BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

 

The Fifth Habit of Highly Effective Job Seekers is to stop and listen.

 

When you finally get that invitation to attend an interview, there is a lot at stake.  Nerves start kicking in and you probably start rehearsing how the interview will go in your mind.  You will probably start dreaming how things will play out when you get the job, the money, the promotion, the status.  Visualization is great and positive.  But then adrenaline kicks in!

 

I cannot tell you how many interviews I have done over the years, that have felt more like therapy sessions.  The job seeker sits down, and before I have even had a chance to ask a question, they are telling me all sorts of things.  As they speak, they feel like they are saying it wrong, so they talk some more.  The job seekers that are in a bad employment situation, or have just left one, are particularly vulnerable for falling into this trap.  The more they talk, the interview becomes about their previous boss, and not about them.  All interviews (and therapy sessions) have a limited time span, and before you know it, the interview is over and I know nothing about the skills that I was really interested in, because you keep going off, talking about other stuff.

 

Job seekers that have also not take a few minutes to think about who they are, what they have to offer, and what they are looking for in their careers, will also be inclined to not listen to questions, and just tell me what they think I want to hear.

 

The job seekers that succeed at interviews, are the ones that stop and listen.  They make sure that they understand the questions, and what information the interviewer is looking for.  They know who they are, so they answer authentically, and they stay in the present moment, so they don’t get pulled into past employment relationships.

 

The jobs seekers that Seek First to Understand, make sure they know what the job is all about.  They ask the right questions about what will be expected and because they have taken time to figure out what they are looking for, they don’t jump into jobs that they wont like. 

 

The next time you go into an interview, try and be more mindful.  Take a few deep breaths.  Consciously stop yourself from speaking without listening first.  Listen to questions and ask for clarification if you are not 100% what is being asked.  Take your time to answer intelligently.  When you are told what the job involves, ask questions.  Not questions about what you will get out of it (salary, working hours, etc), that comes later when you are offered the job.  Rather ask questions to clarify what they want to get out of it, if they employed you. 

 

Knowledge is power, and you gain knowledge by listening, not talking. 

 

(inspired by “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. 

 

Durban Jobs e-recruitment effective interviews emotional bank account employment employment negotiations graduate employment habit five interview skills job seeking Jobs in Durban KZN jobs management motivation for looking for a job motivational books positive self talk seek first to be understood then to understand seek first to understand seven habits of highly effective job seekers seven habits of highly effective people

GO FOR WIN/ WIN

In life- what you give, you get.  When you start looking for a job, focused only on what you are going to gain, things are guaranteed not to go well in the end.  Habit Four from “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Job Seekers”, is WIN/WIN. 

 

In any interaction in life, you can aim for a number of outcomes- I “win” at all costs; you “win” and I lose; we both lose; no deal; or WIN/WIN.  Naturally, the outcome that everyone wants is the last- win/ win. 

 

There are three aspects to this that you should focus on: –

Character- yours and theirs

  • To start with, you need to go back to the first three habits. Are you being responsible? Do you know what you actually want, and how you are going to get there?  If you don’t know what you want, how will you ever know if what you have achieved is win/win?
  • Both parties need to have the maturity to take a step back and look at the situation with perspective and maturity. There are two sides to every story, and if you try and empathise with where your employer is coming from, or why a future employer is skeptical, it will give you far greater advantage, then blindly going after what you want (a win for you only).
  • The biggest key to win/win situations, is to acknowledge ABUNDANCE MENTALITY- knowing that there are enough opportunities out there for everyone. It’s the opposite of scarcity mentality that has everyone trying to trip up the competition, hoard the resources and secretly wishing their friends and family were not so successful.   Having an abundance mentality means practicing gratitude for what you have, where you are and what you have accomplished. 

Relationships

Win/ win relationships start with YOU.  In your current job; with the network that you will reach out to assist you in finding a job; and with future employers and colleagues- the win/ win relationships start with YOU.  Even if you feel like you are the only one making an effort, in the end, it will pay off.  Relationships are like a jar of sweets.  Every positive thing someone does, adds to the jar, and everything negative, takes from it.  Sometimes you, or the other person, takes more from the jar than they put it, but if you had already added enough sweets (good deeds) to the jar (relationship), it wont matter.  You can add to this relationship or jar by doing simple things like greeting people sincerely; making a stressed colleague a cup of coffee; remembering to follow up with a client about how they are doing after an illness or big event; keeping commitments; being sincere.  I always tell my staff- if you are always 15 minutes early for work- how can I be upset when you ask to come in half an hour late for work or get caught in traffic?

Win/ win relationships may not change your actual situation, but they eliminate the negative energy around you, that ultimately leads to attracting more negative situations and poisons your mindset.  The biggest mistake job seekers make in interviews, is to bring the negative energy from their most recent employment into the interview.  People like proactive, positive people.  People promote and employ happy, positive people!

Agreements

When it comes to making agreements- be it in your current job, a counter offer; with the company you hope to work for; or with your family and friends, it is important to use the above points.  Separate yourself from your position/ opinions/ wants, take a step back and look at the key issues at hand.  Money is always a factor when making an employment decision, but should be the end result, not the driving force.  Desperation is the biggest opinion that you need to separate yourself from, because that is purely about you winning, and the second you have the job, desperation disappears and with it the reason you made the decision.  If you have followed the first three habits, you will know what you want to do and how you want to achieve it.  Now you need to make sure that you are going to have the resources to do it; be clear on what competencies you will be help up against; and what outcome will be expected from you for there to be a win/ win agreement.  In other words, do you have the skills, want to work in the area doing that kind of job, and can make a commitment for the salary offered?

If not, you can seek a compromise, or go for “No Deal”.  But in all things, act with integrity, and seek an outcome where everyone wins. 

 

(inspired by “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. 

 

Durban Jobs e-recruitment emotional bank account employment employment negotiations graduate employment job seeking Jobs in Durban KZN jobs management motivation for looking for a job motivational books Personal missions statement positive self talk Second Habit seven habits of highly effective job seekers seven habits of highly effective people stay positive when looking for a job win/win
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